Hands Off: Tips to Prevent Unwanted Greetings

How to help your dog not to be hassled by people

Every week I hear the same …

• What do I do when someone pets my dog without asking me first?
• What do I do when someone wants to say hello to my dog but I don't want them to?
• What do I do when someone comes up to my dog and encourages him to jump on them?
• What do I do when a child runs up and wants to pet my dog?

This is a discussion I have had multiple times every month …  and I wish there was a simple answer. To be clear this is not about why your dog might not want to be petted. There are so many reasons such as a dog who jumps on people, has an injury, gets too stressed, gets excitable or frustrated. The reasons behind the behaviour is a whole other discussion. This is about what YOU do when the inevitable happens and you want to help your dog.

I was witness to an incident in St Just a week or so ago where a woman got right in the face of a dog we were working with. There was not a fraction of a second to stop her. She walked straight up to the dog and started to bend forward and put her hands towards the dog. The dog startled and did exactly what we might have expected, he lunged and barked at her. She jumped back and apologised.

TOO LATE, LADY, TOO LATE!

Luckily no harm was done, and the situation was handled beautifully by the dog’s human, but the big mistake she made was not asking if she could pet him.

I have had similar with my own dog, I was out with her when two children ran their hands down her back as we walked past, in sight of their parents. She startled, not surprisingly and I spoke to the parents who looked at me blankly and walked off.

HOW RUDE!

It’s not all bad.

Recently I was chatting to someone who was standing back admiring Jess. Jess is happy to say hello to people on her own terms and can get a bit excitable, but at no point did the woman invade her space and cause any problems.  Then she asked whether Jess could have a biscuit. I said no, and it was accepted gracefully.

A-MAZ-ING!

It's not always that easy and I am asked by clients, ‘What should I do?’ The simple fact is that people should ask you first, then they really need to ask the dog as well, but as I mention above, that's not always possible. The more you are prepared, the more you advocate for your dog, the easier it is to help your dog feel comfortable and happy.

What should you do? Here is a collection of my answers:
 

If you don’t want someone petting your dog, let them know.

If someone asks and you don't want them to touch your dog, say no.

If they are going to pet your dog without asking, the first thing to do is say STOP, and / or step in front or step away.

Then once they are paying attention, give whatever reasons you want. You shouldn't have to give an explanation, but have one in your back pocket if you feel you need to. It might be ‘my dog is in training’ or ‘I am teaching her not to pull towards people because it hurts my back’, 'I am working on her not jumping up on people' or whatever works for you. Have the words ready, rehearse them, because in that moment, they need to come out naturally, comfortably, and quickly.
 

If you don’t want someone feeding your dog, let them know.

I often get asked if someone can feed by dog, and I always say NO. I am polite and let them down gently with something like saying she has a sensitive tummy, but it’s a flat NO from me as I simply don’t want her thinking people are vending machines.
 

If you feel that the person is trainable, and can help you with your training, then ask.

Of course, some dogs love attention from humans and you want your dog to learn how to greet properly, so use your judgement about your own dog and the person who wants to pet them. People love to join in and help, so they can be a useful stooge in some circumstances.

Depending on what you are trying to achieve, you might ask the person to stand still, let your dog go up to them, or just mill around as part of the conversation, or you might practice your dog sitting or calling your dog away. Have a plan, and make that plan clear to the person who is helping you.
 

Get a bandana or lead sleeve that tells people what’s the story.

For example ‘Dog in training, please do not pet’ or ‘My dog needs space’. You don’t need to tell anyone why, and factual words are best that have no doubt in them. There should be no judgement and no question about what that means.
 

Be considerate of others

A dog can be on lead for lots of reasons, a dog can be out with a muzzle on for lots of reasons, so let’s not be judgemental from either side. And this is a simple one, it’s not all bad, so if someone is considerate of you, let them know how grateful you are.

We all go out with our dogs to have a good time, get some fresh air and exercise, maybe do a bit of training, and generally enjoy our dogs. I hear so many stories from clients where they have struggled with unwanted attention from people. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes there is just not enough time to stop someone, but there is a common theme here …  the more you are prepared, the more you speak out, the better chance you have to keep your dog feeling comfortable and happy.

Is this something you have struggled with?
Let me know and if you want to have a chat about your dog, get in touch.